


Unbearable

by Nellancholy



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game), Touhou Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, But no, Character Study, Gen, a generic character, a more mature reisen here, from touhou project, guidance counselor reisen, i could have made anyone the counselor, it's reisen inaba, or even marina, sort of a character study i guess, trying to work through writer's block
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 15:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16199915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellancholy/pseuds/Nellancholy
Summary: A brief visit to the guidance counselor.("Is this what therapy is supposed to be like?" Misaki thinks.)





	Unbearable

Reisen shook her head gently,brushing a few strands of purple hair out of her face. She slid a stack of books back into the shelf,easing herself back into her soft-backed office chair. Her gaze fell onto the family photo resting on her desk. Aunties Eirin and Kaguya,and (she never really felt like calling her a sister) Tewi. A strange family,but…ultimately a happy one. And after a few years in the army,Reisen found herself right here,in a cosy job adjacent to the languid academic environment of a large,well-established university.

 

Making sure her hair and clothes were in place,she sat up by her desk,waiting for her appointment.

 

The girl who came in had long,flowing black hair,now tied into a bun under her baseball cap. Her hands stayed resolutely in the pockets of her jacket as she slouched into the chair opposite Reisen.

 

Reisen’s lips parted,forming into a soft,altogether sincere smile. “Afternoon,Misaki. How have we been doing,this past week?”

 

Misaki shifted in the chair,sitting up straight. It felt like she wasn’t even trying to be a corporeal,conscious being until Reisen acknowledged her. “...I’m just here because the faculty wants me to follow up with you. I don’t really have anywhere else to be right now…” Avoiding Reisen’s question without even intending to,she looked her straight in the eye.

 

“Of course you are.” Her expression unwavering,Reisen reached into her drawer,taking out a can of orange juice and gently sliding it across the table to Misaki.

 

Raising an eyebrow,Misaki picked it up. “…what’s this?”

 

“You like orange juice,don’t you? Go on,take it…”

 

“Sure,I do.” Misaki held the can straight and pulled the tab,the hiss of the can filling the quiet office for a split second. “…it’s just that most of the other faculty doesn’t seem to like me drinking in their offices.”

 

Slowly,Reisen nodded. “Well,let’s keep it between the both of us,shall we? And…since you’re here anyway,why not make the best use of our time? I did want to follow up on some of the concerns we’ve brought up last week…”

 

The air in the room seemed to grow dense almost instantaneously. The lights seemed to get a little dimmer. Misaki quickly lowered the can,her gray eyes locking onto Reisen as her gaze filled with a hesitant air. “ _Crap…_ ” She couldn’t just walk out now.

 

“...for example,your student loans. You’re…worried about how you’ll repay them after graduation,no?” Reisen’s smile had tapered off,though her expression still seemed more concerned than incisive.

 

Misaki frowned,setting the can back on the desk. “…I’ll find a way. P-people do it all the time. If they can do it,I can too.” Her fingers intertwined as she looked to the side,glancing out the window. It was a cool autumn day,with not a beam of sunshine in sight.

 

Reisen nodded. “I believe you. But,if I may,there’s something I’m curious about.”

 

Misaki inhaled sharply as she forced herself to make eye contact with Reisen. “Yes?” She had a pretty good idea of what was coming,but maybe she could avoid acknowledging it just a little bit longer.

 

Reisen leaned back in her seat,clasping her hands to reflect Misaki’s posture. “You were part of a rather popular band back in high school. I think you could have really kept going with that,made a career out of it. Why didn’t you?”

 

Misaki exhaled slowly. She’d had this conversation a few times before,but never with Reisen. She didn’t expect this question to come from Reisen too. But now… “Why would I want to continue with that? Sure,we had some good times together,but…I just want to get a normal job and live a normal life. I don’t want _that_. I _never_ wanted that.” Immediately she snapped her mouth shut,as though ashamed of what she just said.

 

“You could’ve quit any time. But…you chose your graduation as an opportunity to cut ties in a way you thought wouldn’t leave any loose ends. Which brings me to another thing…” Reisen could see Misaki’s unease,but she had to press on. Better to get it out in the open. “…I understand you had a friend in your band. A rather generous,well-off friend. I think if you brought it up to her,she’d gladly sponsor this,your degree program. But you chose to take a loan,one you’ll have to repay…”

 

Misaki shook her head,looking back up at Reisen. “She was…she was never my friend-” The words seemed to catch in her throat. “-maybe…maybe she _was_ ,okay? But…but I spent three entire years acting like I could do without her…how could I ask her for something like that now?”

 

Reisen nodded,the small smile coming onto her face again. “You knew it’d be something easy for her,especially considering all the other things she did during the time you were…together. And,just one more thing…you could’ve applied to the same university as Saya,was it?”

 

“Sa _yo_.” Misaki answered firmly. “And that university focuses on its arts programs. She wants to bring Roselia back bigger and better than before…there’s nothing there for me.”

 

“And so you chose to let it become a long distance relationship. You made it a long distance relationship.”

 

Misaki bit her lip. “I would call it ‘caring for my g- my partner and taking responsibility for my future’.”

 

Reisen opened her hands,nodding. “As you wish. Which brings me back to my thoughts…” She leaned forward,her eyes narrowing. “…I’d like you to think about why you want to insist on being seen as independent and self-sufficient all the time. Why you don’t want to show…vulnerability. And…” She held her hand out to Misaki. “…I’d like you to know that no one sees you as a burden. Not Kokoro,not Sayo…not me.”

 

“...” Misaki pulled her cap over her face,doing her best to force a laugh. “Ha…that’s my assignment for the week,then? I-if I may…”

 

Reisen put her palms together. “You are free to leave. I look forward to seeing you next week.”

 

“...Thank you.” With no other words,Misaki got up,walking briskly out of the office.

 

“ _And there she goes…_ ” Noticing the abandoned can still resting on her desk,Reisen picked it up,taking a sip.

 

“ _Baby steps…_ ”


End file.
